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Holiday with an Aspergers child

From hell to fun!

Holiday planning for an aspergers child

Quite early on I found holidays coursed problems! I found that the stress to me and my child was huge. We spent more time calming him down than enjoying the family break. It became a total nightmare. To the extent we stopped for a while as it was just too hard to deal with. Then I realized we as a family needed that break, we as adults needed to have holidays, other children wanted holidays the same as their friends families do. So instead of giving up and not going away, I would work with the problems and get us all on holiday. Building up time away for home for relaxing and have time to enjoy each other and the surrounding.

First you have to see from your disabled child's view. What scares them about a holiday? What extra help is needed? How can you change this? A big task but the goal was worth while for us as a family and for the disabled child in the long run.

I identified areas that I new worried my child; here is a list for you to think about with your child.

House hold state of mind changes. People are excited. Packing happens. Travel. Rules change. Daily routines change. Lack of control for them. Weather may change. Rooms are different. People are different. All in all we ask a lot of the child that has social problems and the need for consistence. We are hitting on the area that for them is the most difficult to understand! For us to see this is a big step in understanding what is going on for our children.

What to do to help this. You know your child the best. Think and encourage them to think about what changes help and don't help. If at all possible for the purpose of holidays as a whole have small breaks away, weekends, mid weeks. Build up the time spent away and add time as it becomes more familiar to the child. Choose mini holidays that has things they would like, there is a wealth of holiday suppliers that offer all sorts of breaks, from indoor swimming pool through to skiing indoors and out doors. Clubs for children that offer loud activities to clubs that do nature walks. Bike hire or take your own, through to fishing holidays by a quite lake. We used these lots in the early days but didn't fish! We just needed a place where it was quite. The choice is endless! Balance the needs of the child with what you all need. So a quite lake side chalet with a club for the children could be it. Plan it carefully involve the child in the choosing. Leave the brochure of the planned break around, talk about it as far before the event as you can. Build it into as many conversations as it will fit. Allow the child to hear you chatting about the break to others. Get it to become apart of their lives. Keep it low key though, as if it's just another week. If the child does their best to not hear it, ask them why. Even if you get a lot of resistance from the child keep going! Keep calm. Remember change is hard for your child but not impossible! I found keeping a count down chart worked really well allowing the child to tick off a day at a time. We had a chart for "What do you want to take?" where he added pictures and words of what he had to take. In some instances we would negotiate that list! But the rule was if he wanted it to go and it could fit in his case it went. OK you have to be a little creative most his clothes went in my case but it allows them control over the change and not just be knocked sideways by a sudden big change that they may not have known was coming! Take DVDs if that helps, you know that at home they watch them why not on holiday. Check that the place has a player though or take yours. OK they may wish to take all their books on cars, trains or what ever they love. Allow them to hold on to their securities. You will be amazed at how kind some people are. We find that although you have heard it a thousand times others haven't and don't mind. A break for you while away! Be realistic don't set yourself and the child to fail. If they have big distress at going out set a one night up! Just keep building, change does happen. If the planning and the break goes wrong, adjust what you are doing and try again. Talk to health care professionals on how to help your child with this area. Holiday company's can help too. If you give enough notice they can be a great source of help. I have known a mum write to them, as her child had a bad fear of flying and they helped by allowing her to have the booklet from the seats of their planes saying what the plane was, how and what to do in an emergency. Far from worrying the child this gave him the information that he needed in the format that worked for him. Flying then stopped being a worry for him and the family had a great time and can plan more in the future. Another family had huge problems with the child hating getting into the car if they didn't know the exact route. They had to build up the child's tolerances of allowing the parent to be in control. They did this by short journeys with quick gain goals at the end of each journey if he had earned it. Allow for mistakes! One time I had planned a short mid week break for us. I had done every thing I thought we needed. We had covered the lay out of the caravan, what the site had and how we where going to get there. All was well, so I thought. When we got there to our caravan my son looked up, and then throws himself to the floor covering his ears and screaming. What had I done wrong???? After calming him down I got my answer. I had forgotten to say there would be a lot of these caravans on the site! He thought it would just be ours. A reminder to think as your child would and not guess that he knows. I don't honestly like this but some time you may have to consider medication. I have know families use this to help a very active child cope with the flight as in terms of the time needed to sit still! It can be kind on your child if they get very stressed but only you and your medical professionals can judge if it's right for you and the child. There are some great herbal remedies on the market if that can help the child but before any medication please check carefully. The best things I have found are: To be clear: What will be there and why they will like it. How much time before we go. What to take. I have used a count down chart for the actual holiday so they understand when it is over. Plan, plan and plan! You need to keep trying on this till its right for your child and you Learn and change as the child needs. Nothing stays the same! The first thought when you have a child that gets upset is to keep information from them and just deal with the upset at the time. I have found as odd as it may seem is that the child if they have count down charts or what ever works with your family responds far better to the change than if its sprung on them. This is true for all dreaded events, like a hospital check up or the dentist. The intensity is far lower this way. Keep calm; do not build your hopes too high. It takes time for change but it happens. I can go on any holiday with my son now but it has taken work. Any loss is far out weighed by the gains to us all. Happy holidays, its just a little way a way.

For help with foreign travel look at www.expatsavings.eu

As the parent of a disabled child myself I understand the problems in sevel situations. I hope to assist others by sharing my experiences and what I have learned. I hope this is of use to you

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